Our Rating System
At The Reel Bits, we don’t believe in stars or numbers*.
We obviously believe that they exist, and have been known to use both on occasion, but we do not rate our films in the traditional sense. Stars are a bit arbitrary, as they give the illusion that a ★★★ film is the same as another ★★★ film, regardless of what they did to earn their ★★★ or not earn their other ★★ to make it an even ★★★★★.
Then you get into the whole thing of “What’s the difference between ★★★★½ and ★★★★★? Was it not perfect enough for you, Mr. Big Shot Critic Man? Have all the free screenings and distributor cocktail parties addled your brain?”.
Possibly. So we came up with our own arbitrary rating system, based on how we think you should feel about the film, so you don’t have to read our carefully written reviews. No thanks is necessary. Then we found that we got quoted on posters more when we used stars, so we switched back. That’s our story.
*Actually, we do now
What It Means
For Those Who Like Stars More Than We Do
|Certified Bitstastic!||The highest rating we can give. This is an undeniable classic in any era, and excels in every way. The best of the best. Get it? Might even earn a coveted Bitsy Award.||★★★★★||All Certified Bitstastic|
|Highly Recommended||If you die without seeing these, you might get by: but can you say you’ve truly lived?||★★★★||All Highly Recommended|
|Better Than Average Bear||There’s average, and then there’s something more: more than average. These films are so much better than average that they get their own rating.||★★★½||All Better Than Average Bear|
|Worth A Look||If you’ve seen all the big titles, and there are no Better Than Average films on, you could do a lot worse than taking a look at this film.||★★★||All Worth A Look|
|Wait for DVD/Blu-ray||We’re not saying this is a bad film by any means: it just may not be one you want to spend full 3D cinema ticket prices on, plus tickets for the kids and/or babysitter, dinner and parking. It may also be that the DVD/Blu-ray lets you get up and stretch your legs with that all-important pause button.||★★½||All Wait for DVD/Blu-ray|
|Rental for Sure||With this film, you’d not only wait for the DVD/Blu-ray, but you’d rent it. Maybe even from the 3-Day New Release section, thus minimising the economic impact of a potentially dodgy use of your time. It might also be so bad that’s it funny.||★★||All Rental for Sure|
|It’s Your Money||We can’t recommend this film on any level, but we know its not going to dissuade some people. It could be a blockbuster that is review proof, or it could just be a piece of a crap. It’s your money: if you have more dollars than sense, that’s not our problem.||★½||All It’s Your Money|
|Avoid Like Plague||Some films are bad-funny, some are just bad. These films fall into the latter category, and are best avoided like plague carriers or religious zealots with clipboards.||★||All Avoid Like Plague|